At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize