I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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