I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
