OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
what day is it and did you see me today?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize