I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
