Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
