I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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