I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
