yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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