Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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