dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
