Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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