Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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