It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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