Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
