I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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