he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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