You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
