I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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