i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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