Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
