I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
