Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
