That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
