Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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