first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
