He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize