who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
