please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
