so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel like abortions should bother me more
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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