jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We have started to decorate penises.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
