i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
