I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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