First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
