I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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