drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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