Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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