I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm just crazy horny about you
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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