Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
