Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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