508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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