i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
