I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
