this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
