If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
