His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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