I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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