how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
