party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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