Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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