We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
