that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize