No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
