There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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