vagina is talking i cant
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
