he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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