thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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