UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Couch. On fire.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize