i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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