They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
