A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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