From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
