Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
