how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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