hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
