We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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