You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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