He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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