whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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