I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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