I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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