I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
