we're blogging at a bar
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
