just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize