He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
