sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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